QuarterLife Crossroads

an 8×8 second read

Hot in my sessions with GenZ and Millennials is freedom of choice. More specific the stress choosing adds to life. I’m not talking about happy little options – the color of new sneakers or which festival to attend – but potentially life shaking moves.

The abundance of options serve as a smoke curtain. It’s not so much about sorting out all possibilities. The real work doesn’t take place in the external world but is an inside journey: exploring your why.

What do you feel passionate about? What matters most? Which pathways are realistic? We need questions to discover our purpose. The fun part is that as a child we learn asking ‘why?’ is irritating. Parents don’t seem to have patience with the endless why-ing of kids.

It takes courage to jump into the deep. Asking why brings you in contact with your core. One challenge is that we are self-critical. We have judgements about good core versus bad core. Especially in a world that focusses so much on sunny side up.

Another thing is: we love to delay and procrastinate. In the choices closest to our heart – healthy lifestyle, starting a family, growing a business, taking that gap-year – we hold off and rather focus on diving into more pleasurable events.

There is a Disney Land full of escape possibilities that rewards us with dopamine. We grow attached to external pleasures and become co-dependent. Tricky but true: the same applies to unpleasant events. We can become addicted to drama as well. In the end our smoke curtain causes delay in making core contact.

You can easily see how things become blurry. Choosing is all about backpacking your inner realms, finding purpose and learning to discern what options match your why. Feeling, choosing…ACTION. Ready for the ride?

Carina Wiegman

 

Burnout: Millennial Melt-Down

an 8×8 second read

Burnout is one of the biggest mental health challenges young adults face. Every 1 out of 7 Millennials show burnout symptom. BO seems forever high on the hype cycle. I feel cautious writing about it since there are so many self experienced experts.

There’s a lot BO young adults have in common. Still I saw in my contacts with millennials and Z’ers that burnout is a highly individual proces as well. A personal adventure of finding your voice and having the courage to broadcast it. People loose their fire when life domains are not aligned with their core being. This mechanism cost too much energy.

One thing you can do to get insights on your energy level is to keep an energy diary for a month. Noticing thoughts, feelings and actions that give and cost energy. Too many energy absorbers are your warning sign. The rule is: do more of what gives you energy. Wipe out the energy monsters.

A nasty add-on is having weak boundaries: they can make your passions go up in smoke. Burnout is not bad or good. Judging doesn’t bring us any further. I have seen many people shine after a complete melt-dow. You can rise from BO like a Phoenix by learning how to say NO.

Saying yes to tasks at work, BFF dates and that wedding planner question when you actually want to say NO doesn’t help you. Create space before you react. Train yourself in time-outs so you can reconnect with your true feelings. Your body sure gives clear signs! Saying “No, Thank You” boosts self-confidence. Practice this to re-wire your brain.

One last point I want to make is that BO keeps you in a tight physical, mental, emotional, behavioral and spiritual loop. Pampering the symptoms won’t work. Burnout asks for a holistic approach. This takes time and deep delving. Follow your own pace to get back in your seat of power.

To rise from BO you first have to come to a halt so you can eventually create space to reclaim your sparkle. Good luck to all and please share your experience and wise advise.

Carina Wiegman