QuarterLife Crossroads

an 8×8 second read

Hot in my sessions with GenZ and Millennials is freedom of choice. More specific the stress choosing adds to life. I’m not talking about happy little options – the color of new sneakers or which festival to attend – but potentially life shaking moves.

The abundance of options serve as a smoke curtain. It’s not so much about sorting out all possibilities. The real work doesn’t take place in the external world but is an inside journey: exploring your why.

What do you feel passionate about? What matters most? Which pathways are realistic? We need questions to discover our purpose. The fun part is that as a child we learn asking ‘why?’ is irritating. Parents don’t seem to have patience with the endless why-ing of kids.

It takes courage to jump into the deep. Asking why brings you in contact with your core. One challenge is that we are self-critical. We have judgements about good core versus bad core. Especially in a world that focusses so much on sunny side up.

Another thing is: we love to delay and procrastinate. In the choices closest to our heart – healthy lifestyle, starting a family, growing a business, taking that gap-year – we hold off and rather focus on diving into more pleasurable events.

There is a Disney Land full of escape possibilities that rewards us with dopamine. We grow attached to external pleasures and become co-dependent. Tricky but true: the same applies to unpleasant events. We can become addicted to drama as well. In the end our smoke curtain causes delay in making core contact.

You can easily see how things become blurry. Choosing is all about backpacking your inner realms, finding purpose and learning to discern what options match your why. Feeling, choosing…ACTION. Ready for the ride?

Carina Wiegman


Thaasophobic? Go Slow!

an 8×8 second read

This month’s issue of Dutch Glamour Magazine talks about a typical Millennial and GenZ problem: Thaasophobia. So if you feel restless all the time and fear sitting still this phobia could be yours.

The pre-occupation with more and more things to do and bucket lists is merely symptomatic. Start with Why, Simon Sinek would say.

The why can be obvious, e.g. you find it difficult to focus. Too many options and possible futures keep your energy whirling crazy. Or maybe you fear to miss out and don’t want to choose in the candy store of life.

Keeping yourself busy can also hide disappointment with reality. Today we learn that you can accomplish everything. But if trouble comes in paradise and we experience set-backs you might feel that not everything in life is makeable.

Instead of slowing down or coming to a halt you choose to do more. At one point you are totally brain-wired to active mode. You get symptoms of burn-out, depression, anxiety etc. I see it in my work all the time. What can you do to slow down and break the habit?

Say you get a disturbing message from your boss. Be aware that between stimulus and response lies your free will. This is your seat of power from which you can choose to react or not. Here you can slow down and rethink options.

Another trick is trying something completely different. In case your project is not going well do less, not more. Play harder instead of working harder or simply do nothing for 5 minutes. Practice this to rewire your brain.

Me, I slow down best while traveling. One time in Belize while rushing to buy a bus ticket one guy cheered in Caribbean English: hey girly, go slow. Whenever I feel stressed out I think about this simple wisdom and slow my pace.

Carina Wiegman